Everyone knows that writing in lists is lazy. Everyone knows I'm lazy. Therefore, I like writing in lists. On to the Power Rankings!
1. Packers (8-0) : Rodgers could tear every ligament in both knees Sunday and still get my vote for MVP. He's that good.
2. 49ers (7-1) : I know they haven't exactly killed the eye test but Harbaugh has made Alex Smith into a great manager. They can run the ball and don't let anyone else do it. Recipe for success.
3. Ravens (6-2) : Two wins over the Steelers, a beatdown of the Texans, and Terrell Suggs. That's enough for the #3 spot in my book.
4. Steelers (6-3) : Despite losing to the Ravens twice, it would be stupid to count out Ben. They'll be there at the end of the season.
5. Giants (6-2) : Bitch-ass Eli Manning keeps winning. I don't know if there's ever been an athlete I want to spit on as much as Eli.
6. Saints (6-3) : Drew Brees has 3000 passing yards. Marino's record is going down.
7. Texans (6-3) : Matt Schaub hasn't looked good(neither would you if Kevin Walter was your go to guy) but man they have some beasts in the backfield.
8. Lions (6-2): I am withholding judgement on Detroit until I am laying on my floor covered in turkey gravy watching them play Green Bay.
9. Patriots (5-3) : Two straight losses for the Pats? Unheard of. I'm saying they don't lose another game until Week 17.
10. Bengals (6-2) : The Cincinnati Bengals are leading the AFC North. And they have a red-headed quarterback. Love it.
11. Jets (5-3) : If I have to hear anyone talk about the Jets "swagger" any more, I'll lose my mind. Darrelle Revis is good.
12. Falcons (5-3) : Beat the Saints and they're probably moving into my top ten. If they don't, I say they're a pretender.
13. Bills (5-3) : Playoff hopes slipping away with every Ryan Fitzpatrick dropback. There's a reason most quarterbacks don't come from the Ivy League... they suck.
14. Cowboys (4-4) : Confusing team. I think DeMarco Murray is the truth, though. I think they are going to catch the Giants, if they beat the Bills this weekend.
15. Bears (5-3) : Maybe a little bit too low, but I can't put too much faith in Cutler and their receivers. Matt Forte might be second in my unofficial MVP voting though.
16. Chargers (4-4) : Typical San Diego. Start's the season like a bunch of whale vaginas. They'll finish strong, as always.
17. Eagles (3-5) : Fuck 'em.
18. Buccaneers (4-4) : If they can just stay close in the South, I think Freeman can sneak 'em in. Kind of a big if though.
19. Raiders (4-4) : As much as they gave up in the Palmer trade, I like it. Chance to win the division, might as well go for it.
20. Chiefs (4-4) : Has there ever been a 4-4 team with so few good players? I can't believe I put them this high? Where's Tebow?
21. Broncos (3-5) : Why not? They're 2-1 with Tebow. Man, I hope they win the division, just so I can see Skip Bayless and Merrill Hoge and Mark Schlereth's smug ass faces.
22. Titans (4-4) : Hey, I found a 4-4 team with even less good players than the Chiefs. Who is the Titans best player, anyway?
23. Panthers (2-6) : I was empty inside without Cam Newton last Sunday. Glad to have ya back, Cam.
24. Vikings (2-6) : I like Christian Ponder. If Percy Harvin was still on the team they could be good... wait.
25. Redskins (3-5) : Great move by Shanahan benching Sexy Rexy. Why would anyone hire this douchebag to be their coach. He sucks.
26. Browns (3-5) : By far, the most boring team to watch in the NFL. $5 bucks for anyone who can name their coach.
27. Seahawks (2-6) : I don't think Marshawn Lynch is going to make any highlight runs in the playoffs this year.
28. Jaguars (2-6) : Relocate. Can we get a NFL team in Vegas, already?
29. Cardinals (2-6) : Kevin Kolb and a 2nd rd pick for Dominique Rodgers-Cromartie: Each team thought they were robbing the other. Turns out, every player in the deal sucks!
30. Dolphins (1-7) : No bullshit, I actually like Matt Moore. It's like no one told him that everyone else on the team is trying to lose.
31. Rams (1-7) : Would they really be any better if guys didn't get hurt? It's not like they were pegged for 12 wins.
32. Colts (0-9): Jim Caldwell is the worst coach in the long history of the NFL.
Agree? Disagree? Lemme know.
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6 comments:
i like this pretty funny stuff
The 49ers at 2? I dunno about that
The Niners are 7-1 with an elite defense. No other team has really won enough big games to make a strong case for #2. Maybe the Ravens, but I like SF a little bit more.
The eagles are too high. They frustrate me to no end but I still watch them every freaking Sunday and hope they figure out how to play a full game. But we lose to Arizona. Blew my mind and I have given up. Would have been a huge win with the Giants losing but nope we decided to shit the bed. Pussies. All of them.
I love your comments on the 49ers and that you put them up at number 2! Im not used to this
The Eagles are definitely too high now, Todd. Whenever I do this weeks rankings, I'll probably have them in the low 20's. Losing to Arizona at home is inexcusable and embarrassing. I'm hoping to do a post on whether or not Andy Reid is on the hot seat.
And anonymous, I think I know you are, but yeah the 49ers absolutely deserve the #2 spot. As long as Frank Gore stays healthy, I don't see any team catching the 49ers for the #2 spot. A home playoff game and a bye? It sure seems likely at this point.
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